Day 213: “Early Night”
I swore I’d go to bed earlier today
I swear I swore I did
But I got home from work
Had to decompress
And hours later
My pink finger had a dent
from holding my phone
And my thumb was sore
From scrolling
Then I got it back on track
I planned
I cooked
I worked out
Then I had to shower
Get ready for bed
By the time I laid down
To write this poem
It was after 1 am
While definitely not an early night
I guess that’s early in the day
I swear I’ll try again tomorrow
Day 212: “Indignant in the Face of Grief”
The more I know that death is part of life
It seems I’m more resistant
I don’t want to say goodbye
Don’t want to lose
To have lost
I want them all here
Everyone
Back and happy
And alive
Why is that too much to ask?
Day 211: “Snoring Kills the Creative Buzz”
Sometimes I can’t think
When my boyfriend is snoring
Now is one of those times
And the unfortunate result
Is this poem
Day 210: “Freedom”
They say comparison
makes you feel like shit
Well, that’s not exactly the saying
I’m paraphrasing
I’ve been a bit stuck
And a bit jealous
of what others have accomplished
What freedom they have
Financial
Creative
And otherwise
I’d love to have the freedom to do whatever I want
Be whoever I want
Like truly
Wouldn’t we all?
Why can’t we have that?
What do we have to do to have that?
I’m actually asking
Because, believe me,
I’m trying
Day 209: “The Need to Release”
You can’t escape
The need to feel
Can’t suppress
Ignore
Move on
It will bubble up somewhere
Escape
Blow things up
You have to sit
Feel
Experience the pain
I know it hurts
I really do
But it hurts worse
When it bursts
In ways we didn’t plan
Day 208: “Champagne Problems”
We’re inconsequential
To the ebb and flow
of the universe
It existed before us
And will after us
The cosmos
Exist
Die
Recreate
Evolve
And we’re worried about that time we said you too when the waiter said enjoy the food
Day 207: “Subconscious Grief”
Loss
Feels like a fading away
A slipping through my fingers
Lack
Not enough time
Love still to give
I can’t comprehend it
Can’t believe
He’s gone
They’re all gone
It doesn’t make sense
My dreams are full of attempts at changing it
Bringing him back
Actually, he never left
It doesn’t feel fair,
okay
It’s definitely not right
Sometimes I see the beauty in life and death
But more often than not I just feel sad
Mad
Oh so upset
There’s no resolution
Grief is a fickle thing
I guess I’ll just turn out the light
Try to get some sleep
And see if he’ll visit me in my dreams
Day 206: “Overwhelming Turn of Events”
Today was overwhelming
So overwhelming I overflowed
I freaked out
Hit a wall
Cried
My partner held me
I talked it out
Now I feel much better
Day 205: “Lighter”
Weight lifted
I can stretch out my wings,
Tight from lack of use
And fly
Anywhere
Everywhere
And realize
the weight was self-inflicted
But it’s also me who can shrug it off
And emerge
Lighter
Day 204: “Oceans Behind My Eyes”
You ever feel like there’s an ocean behind your eyes?
The tides are coming in
Getting stronger
There’s a flood risk
I’ve been feeling that way
It sits,
right behind my eyes
Close to spilling out,
washing away the shore
I think I know why
It’s grief
Loss
Missing someone,
Everyone
I want to let the tide roll in
Let the waves crash onto my cheeks
But I’m scared of what might float away in the water
That the shore might get washed away entirely
What will be left?
Faking It Made 